If I could just make you relive the first time we met. The first few months. The first laughs we shared. The memories we created. I’d do it in an instant if it could change how we are now.
all 46 excuses on my friends wall,
1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow
2. we can’t all be usain bolt
3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”
4. i had pe first period do you blame me
5. i really, really didn’t want to sing
6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates
7. you can’t tell me how to live my life
9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic
10. there was a freak yachting accident
11. i am a fucking retard
12. this is just for my wall
13. do you even read these
14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop”
15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction
16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight
17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win
18. traffic jammy jammy jam
19. how can i go to school when alex turner
20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her
21. i was sticking it to the man
22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity
23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued
24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset
25. my meth lab caught fire
26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be
27. i was sad
28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely
29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”
30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth
31. 2 kool 4 scool
32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen
33. i tried
34. i’m sorry i’m late
it’s not my fault
my auntie was killed
and i joined a cult
35. a haiku about lateness:
late late late late late
late late late late late late late
late late late late late
36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking
37. i was fashionably late
38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg
39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me
45. i was fighting al qaeda
YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN
the post that doesn’t age
wish we had these at my school :’) that was hilarious
The girl gasped as she watched her shoe fall from the roof of their ten storey apartment building. Her eyes widened in horror when her slipper didn’t hit the cold cement ground below as predicted—instead it landed upon the head of a passerby.
The young man stumbled and nearly fell over by the sudden assault on his head.
Dazed, the man looked around for what had hit him and found a simple, white slipper. He looked to the roof where he could only assume the shoe came from and found the young girl from floor six.
“Sorry!” She called down.
The man grabbed her fallen shoe and yelled back at her, “Wait right there!”
The girl hopped off the ledge and wrung her hands together anxiously as she waited. Her heart pounded loudly that she feared that it would pop right out of her chest. She debated waiting as instructed or fleeing. If she stayed she would definitely get an earful. If she left she could avoid him—but face his wrath another day and risk the possibility of her parents finding out.
Before she could make her final decision, the door leading to the rooftop flew open and the man stepped forward .
“Is this your shoe?” He asked though he already knew the answer.
The girl bowed deeply, “I’m so sorry.”
The man sighed “Sit down,” he instructed as he gestured towards the ledge. The girl did as she was told—too frightened to question his demand. She kept apologizing profusely as the man drew near and shook like a leaf on a windy day.
She nearly shrieked when the man knelt down in front of her and lifted her right leg.
“W-what are you doing?!” She asked in a surprised voice when the man took her fallen shoe and secured it back onto her foot.
Still kneeling, the man glanced up, giving the girl a view of his handsome face. “It is a gentleman’s duty to return a woman’s shoe.” He explained simply.
The man stood as a pink colour bloomed beautifully on the girl’s cheeks. “T-thank you…”
A smile tugged at the man’s lips. “No need to thank me.”
“Wha—” The girl began to ask when the man placed two large hands on her shoulders but was cut short when he pushed her backwards.
Down she fell, a scream stuck in her throat. The last thing she saw before she met the hard ground was the back of the man’s retreating back.
oH MY GOD
I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE SOME INSPIRATIONAL HIPSTER POST BUT I THOUGHT WRONG
OHMYGOD!! I thought it would be a cute story too!